I’m at the point in my life where having kids is expected soon, both from the standpoints of my family and from society. The problem with this, though, is that outside perspectives should never matter in making the choice to have kids. What’s unfortunate is that so many people out there succumb to societal or familial pressure and end up having children for the wrong reasons or at the wrong time. Ultimately, this impacts the way those children are raised and treated along the way.
So, my partner and I have discussed many times how much we’re excited at the prospect of having children, yet also how excited we would be to forego that process altogether and travel instead. I think more people need to have this conversation before having kids. If anything, they’ll respect their decision to have kids much more than they would have if they never questioned it. And even better, they would have much more confidence moving forward and have agency in their choice to have children.
Don’t let me get on a tangent, though. While I’m still at a crossroads with my partner on this decision (we almost always agree on the topic, whether we’ve been swayed one way or another), there are still times when I think about how much fun it would be to do little projects or play little games with our future child.
In fact, there would be no shortage of things to do with our kids since we always talk about the what ifs. I know we’ve mentioned on several occasions how we’d enjoy doing some arts and crafts with a rough bunch of shipping supplies, art tools, paint, and canvases. It wouldn’t take much, yet it would be something that our child would remember for a long time while also being educational and growth-oriented in developing their creativity and wonder of the world.
So, I guess you can say we get jealous of others who have toddlers that they get to play with. And even though the thought crosses our minds regarding how much we really would like to spend time building or painting things with things that save us money like shipping supplies, we’re reminded of all the money we’d be able to save to do other things in life if we chose to not have a child.
All in all, I’m just happy that we are choosing to make this a decision we dwell on for awhile, as there’s really no rush at all to deciding one way or another. If it feels right at a specific time, we’ll know. Whether that “right” feeling means we want children or not remains to be seen.