Stretch Film: The Solution to Your Project

On the one hand I’ve been talking a lot about the end of the world, and all of those wild speculations we insecure human beings come up with. In these different scenarios, stretch film appears to be a major solution to many problems. And, more than likely, its merits would go unnoticed, which leaves more for us.

On the other hand, I started watching Project Runway again (the final season of All Stars) and my creative juices have really begun flowing. I used to sew when I was a little girl, but I never considered sewing my own clothes. Apparently a lot of the designers on this show started designing and sewing their own clothes because they were poor or overweight or something like that. While I was not overweight, my wardrobe did consist primarily of hand-me-downs and thrift store sales.

It never occurred to me to try making my own outfits. I actually continued to shop at the thrift store even after I got old enough to start working, and I pretty much still go there a lot of the time. But that is neither here nor there… My favorite episode on Project Runway is always the unconventional materials challenge. I just watched the designers have to gather supplies from a construction site and use them to make some fabulous creations. I was thinking about how cool it would be if they had to go through a packaging and shipping supply store.

There would be some seriously awesome and equally unconventional stuff to choose from. I think I would go for the stretch film. I would probably wrap some cardboard in it, so that it would be nice and viscous looking and also easy to bend with a curve. A medium of this type would be moldable almost like clay, and since the stretch film would stick to itself, it would be easy to keep in place.

Or I could make some amazing bodysuit type thing. And then, at the end, during the clip of my interview about the win, where I would wave my hookah pen (which is apparently what cool people call their e-cigarettes), proudly sporting the tattoo around my neck that looks like a needle and thread sewing my head back on, I would say, “I don’t know what I would have done if there hadn’t been any stretch film, man. You know?”